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   Thursday, September 6, 2007

Sometimes men meet women they’re attracted to but don’t have the right tools to engage them, resulting in a lost connection. As an author and dating coach to hundreds of men and women throughout the years I’ve discovered the 10 following ways of behaving and relating that will ensure a man’s ability to captivate and keep a woman’s interest.
DON’T’S
1. Don’t push sex so much
Most women find men who talk about sex when they’re first starting to date obnoxious. If you keep trying to talk about sex, you just end up looking desperate and sexually hungry. Like you never get any. Women like men who can hold back a little –who can take it or leave it. Pushing sex too much can also make a man look like he has a one-track mind and is not interested in having a relationship with her which will make most women run for the hills.
2. Don’t turn her into your shrink
Don’t overwhelm a women with too may of your problems when you’re first getting to know her. Don’t discuss your dysfunctional family, money problems or a bad divorce. Women might immediately categorize you as a loser and exceptionally needy. If you’re struggling with so many problems, consider seeing a therapist instead and keep your dates just for socializing.
3. Don’t stare at her body inappropriately
Most women find a man who is staring at her breasts or some other part of her body when they are speaking offensive. She usually feels objectified and even violated. It also gives women the impression that the man is not really interested in her as a person. In addition it usually makes the man look immature, not smooth, socially inept and desperate for sex.
4. Don’t act desperate
Even if you’re crazy about a woman try to sit on your feelings and act cool. Don’t chase so much. Nothing turns off a woman more than a man who calls her incessantly. Remember the scene from Swingers where Jon Favreau keeps calling the girl from the bar over and over and she tells him never to call her again? Women warn each other about men who give them the big rush job in the beginning only to disappear later on. So you’re better off calling her to show your interested but in a timely appropriate manner so you appear stable and sincere.
5. Don’t be cheap
Even in post-feminist times, nothing turns a woman off more than men who won’t shell out money for the first few dates. Men who don’t like to pay look withholding and anal. If you have frugal tendencies contain them at least until you’re in a long-term relationship. Then maybe she’ll appreciate it more.
DO’S
6. Be a little edgy
Edgy is almost an art form. It’s walking a fine line between being available, and holding back a little. It’s having a masculine powerful presence while also appearing vulnerable -like Jack Bauer in 24. If this is too difficult then at least wear a leather jacket and try to act “as if”.
7. Tone down the sarcasm
Many women experience sarcasm as hostile. Making fun of a woman you’re highly interested in even if it’s said in a clever way is not the way to go. You don’t want to come across as the jerky sixth grade boy who wants to dip her pigtails in ink. Sit on your urge to make sarcastic comments, which actually may be a symptom of your anxiety. Funny is good as long as she’s not the target of the joke.
8. Be a good listener
Nothing turns a woman off more then a man who’s just waiting for her to finish speaking so it’s his turn to talk. Even if it takes a lot of self discipline focus on what she’s actually saying. Then give her some reflective feedback to let her know you’re actively listening. The most successful salesmen and politicians are great listeners. That’s how they learn what a person needs so they can make a great sale or get a vote.
9. Have great eye contact
Try to gaze into her eyes when you speak. There’s nothing more seductive than a guy who not only looks at a woman while he or she is speaking, but holds the gaze a couple of seconds longer than necessary. It’s very sexy.
10. Try to look cool
Even if clothes aren’t your thing try to buy shoes, suits and clothing that sexy guys wear. Even if you only have one seductive going-out outfit. The myth that women are only into how much money you earn and the car you drive is simply not true. Women are very much into if a guy is hot looking just like men are. And always always have clean fingernails!


How to Be Romantic When You Have Kids
No matter how much passion, fire, and intimacy you have once children are born your relationship will change. The main change will come about as you begin to put the needs of your children and the family unit as a whole as a priority, followed by the needs of the couple. Many times, husbands and wives begin to feel neglected as the day-to-day struggles of life take their toll.
Not only do the day’s tasks take their toll on the relationship, but also many couples begin to feel very tired. Both parties may be working and then have to deal with the family responsibilities when they come home, or maybe mom stays home all day and eagerly waits for dad to arrive so he can help with the kids. This may be unfair to dad who has worked hard all day and wants to come home to take a break. Either way, one thing is certain- the romantic life suffers.
However, there is hope. Just because you have children, doesn’t mean that you have to throw away all romantic notions by the wayside. In fact, marriages are strengthened and become more stable when couples commit to spending time together and engaging in romantic activities.
The first area to consider is spending time together alone. When children come into the picture (especially babies) finding time alone can be challenging. New moms especially are tired and may even look forward to when dad comes home so they can get some rest. It is a good idea to set aside some time where the two of you can just be alone. If that means taking a nap during the day when the baby is sleeping, then do so. Once the baby or older children go to bed, take advantage of the time that you and your partner have alone. It may be a while before you find a babysitter and feel comfortable leaving your little one at home, but that doesn’t mean that you and your partner can no longer be romantic.
Here are some activities that you can do with your partner once your children are asleep:
Have a picnic by the fireplace
This is great for cold winter nights. Light a fire, lay down a blanket (or a bear skin rug) and have a picnic by the fireplace. Some wonderful items to include are: wine, cheese, fruit, or chocolate covered strawberries. Everyone agrees that there is nothing more romantic then firelight.
Sit outside on the patio and watch the stars.
A wonderfully romantic getaway (while not straying far from home) is to simply stargaze with your lover. By the end of the evening, you will be staring at the stars in each other’s eyes.
Take a bubble bath together
Nothing beats a large garden tub made for two, if you have a hot tub or Jacuzzi all the better. After the children go to bed, enjoy a relaxing evening in the hot tub or Jacuzzi. If you don’t have one or the other, a bubble bath in a large tub is just as enjoyable.
Play a romantic game together
Playing a romantic game together is a great activity that will help put you in the mood. There are many games available for purchase online or at your local novelty supply store.
Read a book to your partner
Just lying in bed together, snuggling and cuddling while reading a book to your partner can be very romantic. It beats watching the television or a movie and allows for plenty of discourse. Besides, when you read a book together, you will always have that time as a cherished memory.

Ron Zvagelsky has a degree in Business Administration from the University of Southern California. Use PlanJam.com to find additional dating and relationship advice along with date ideas.


Physical Symptoms Of Anxiety Attacks
Here are a number of the numerous symptoms associated with anxiety attacks. The symptoms and their intensity will differ from individual to individual because each person has a distinctive chemical make up.

Some of the physical symptoms of anxiety attacks you may experience affecting
the body are:
Constant Exhaustion
Surplus of energy, you feel you can’t unwind
Burning feelings all through the body
Feel like you are going to pass out or faint
Feeling chilly or frozen
Hyperactivity, surplus energy
Excessive or diminished sex drive
Lack of sensation or tingling in hands, feet, face, head, or other places
on the body
Unrelenting muscle tension, stiffness
Muscle twitching
Neck, back, shoulder ache, tension/stiffness
No energy, feeling sluggish, weary
Sore or taut scalp or back of the neck
Surprise easily
Sweating, unmanageable copious sweating
The ground feels like it is moving either downward or up for no explanation

Trembling or shaking
Warm spells
Necessity to urinate, recurrent urination, unexpected urge to go to the
washroom
Weak legs, arms, or muscles
Some of the physical symptoms of anxiety attacks affecting the head are:
Faintness or dizziness
Recurrent headaches, migraine headaches
Feeling like there is a taut band around your head, stress, tension
Head, neck or shoulder pain, tension/stiffness
Overexcitement
Shooting pains in the face
Shooting pains in the scalp or head
Sore jaw that feels like a tooth ache
Some of the physical symptoms of anxiety attacks affecting the hearing are:
Recurrent or irregular reduced hearing or deafness in one or both ears
Low rumbling sounds
Buzzing in the ears, noises in the ears, noises in the head
Some of the physical symptoms of anxiety attacks affecting the mind are:
Desensitization, depersonalization
Fear of going wild
Fear of losing control
Fear of impending doom
Feelings of unreality
Frequent feeling of being overwhelmed, or that there is just too much to
handle or do
Having difficulty concentrating
Obsession about sensations or getting better
Repetitive thinking or incessant ‘mind chatter’
Underlying anxiety, apprehension, or fear
You often feel you are carrying the world on your shoulders

Other symptoms of anxiety attacks are described as:
Worry all the time, tingles, gagging, tension in the chest, tongue twitches,
wobbly, heart beat problems, head tingles, itchy tingling in arms and legs,
and numerous other symptoms.
In addition to these symptoms, you may also find yourself worrying compulsively
about having a serious illness, having a heart attack, going insane, being embarrassed,
harming someone, being alone and so many more.
These are a few of the more widespread symptoms, but this list is unquestionably
not comprehensive.
It is usual for people to experience one or more of these symptoms. While some
may experience them all others may experience only a few anxiety symptoms.

Physical symptoms of anxiety attacks advice and tips plus a bonus worth $199 at our physical symptoms of anxiety attacks website. Please visit us today. http://www.attacksanxiety.com